Member Board
Daniel Burleigh Program Director, Age 27

I was living up in Payson Canyon above Blackhawk Junction with my father.There was no running water, no electricity, little food, and even less supervision. My job was to tend a small herd of goats, our payment for staying on the small private plot of mountain land. My father could be gone for days at a time while he was working somewhere in Utah County as a house painter. This was life after my parent's breakup. My brother and I lived with Dad in one place or another either in some tipi, tent, or abandoned trailer. After my brother left the state I was mostly alone, in more ways than one.

I eventually reached a point where I had had enough too, and turned myself into DCFS to get help. We didn't have food, I didn't have a place to stay, hadn't been attending school, and I was tired of the emotional roller coaster from being with my dad. I was told I would be taken into State custody as a foster kid because of neglect. I remember being taken to my first foster home with only the dirty clothes on my back.

During the next 3-4 years I would stay in 3 foster homes and several transitional ones. I remember some good times, struggling to live a normal life in abnormal circumstances. I also remember in my first two homes being told and feeling that I was less valued than others, that I didn't belong, and finding it difficult to live with the social stigma of being a foster-kid. I was no perfect child- I was on an emotional roller coaster of my own now- sometimes I'd beat up on my foster brothers and other times I'd curl myself around the tree in the back yard and cry for my mom like a little baby. When I was kicked out of my first home I remember my caseworker showing up at school, I hadn't seen or heard from him since I moved into the home about 6 months earlier. He told me that my foster-parents had called and left a message that all my belongings had been stuffed into two black garbage bags and thrown out on the front porch for him to come pick up before he took me away forever. I remember wondering if that was what my life's worth had been reduced to, a phone call and two black garbage bags full of junk.

While I was checking into the temporary children's shelter in order to wait for my next home my caseworker made a comment to me that was burned into my memory. He said to me that because he knew my situation in detail that of anyone he knew, he wouldn't blame me if I just gave up on the world and myself. But, he said, You have a choice. Despite everything you have been through, if you want you can choose to be successful anyway. Whatever his shortcomings might have been as a caseworker, his message to me at that moment became an anthem I would often reflect on as time passed.

I had a number of other difficult experiences in my second foster home where I was also exposed to inappropriate influences. I became somewhat jaded by the system that was supposed to be protecting me and didn't have high expectations for myself either. Whether I was provided with alcohol, threatened with violence or rejection, invited to ignore my standards or break the law, my foster home was not the safe-haven I was hoping for inside. I saw kids move in and out of the homes I lived in and with them I experienced their turmoil, struggles, and distress. I learned to put up walls for protection, I learned that I had to look out for myself because no one else was going to, and I learned that I'd be lucky to survive without too many scars.

I was then surprised by my third home; I had yet to experience one like it anywhere. I remember I kept waiting for them to show me what they were really like, I thought "they can't keep up this facade forever", but it was no fake- it was the healthy loving home that I had hoped for. Like all my other foster-homes this family was doing their best to help others while struggling with their own lives, but unlike that of other homes this couple was only in their mid-twenties with their own young children. I was still not an easy kid by any means, but under their gentle and loving care I gradually began bringing down the walls I had so diligently built around my heart. I started going back to church, improving my grades in school, and with the help of counseling began rebuilding my relationship with my mother and father. Again I saw a number of kids move in and out of the home but another "brother" and I stayed for 2 years and came to call our parents Mom and Dad- we were not once introduced as foster kids, but were always one of their own- which prompted some interesting looks because of their youth.

I have had the opportunity to experience a number of different homes and their varied ways of raising children. I learned more about the kind of family I wanted to have myself. When I was 17 and my new family moved away I chose to move out on my own through the Independent Living Program. I put myself through my senior year of high school and at 19 departed on a 2-year LDS mission to Okayama, Japan. My reestablished relationship with my birth parents was truly rewarding. I enjoyed the weekly letters from Mom and felt closer to her than I ever had. It was a serious blow to me on Father's Day 1997, about halfway through my mission, when I received a phone call and found out that my family had been in a car accident. I lost my 11-month old niece, my father, and mother together. My younger sister, the sole survivor, has still not recovered after 7-years. There are no words to express the pain I felt at the loss of my family and the chance to continue to enjoy our growing relationship. I was able to complete my mission and found the focus in serving others to be especially comforting and helpful.

Throughout my life I have endured and experienced a number of challenges. I continue to struggle with the legacy of a broken home but I also have gained many tools for success. Now, 10 years after completing my mission, I am married to a wonderful woman and we have three beautiful children together. I have my B.A. in Psychology, recently graduated with my MBA from Brigham Young University, and am working in the job of my dreams (for this time in my life) at a Fortune 50 company as I continue my involvement in uFOSTERsuccess. Whatever my future holds, I know that I will be actively involved in reaching out to help others. There are too many people who have influenced my life to even mention but it's important for me to make a difference in the lives of others, as many have done for me. I've learned that regardless of our circumstances we can be successful if we choose to and never give up. I choose to overcome the challenges that have been and will be placed before me and so can you.