Membership Specialist Heather Knight, Membership Specialist, Age 23
I don't even know where to start. I guess I will start from the beginning. When I was 10 months old the State took me and my two older sisters away from our neglectful mother. I have been told by my oldest sister that she would steal just so we would have something to eat. My aunts took care of us most of the time before that day we were taken away. My mother would just drop us off and leave us there for days. Then she would come and pick us up only to take us to another aunt. I have since found out that I spent most of my ten months sleeping in a drawer that was the only place they had room for me, since my other two sisters were there also plus the kids they had! My biological mother later told me that when she had my oldest sister she was young and didn't have a chance to live her youthful times. So she did it when she was older. Instead of taking care of her kids she went out to party and drink and do drugs.
After the state took us we went into the system until I was 6 years old. (We were in a foster-adopt home from 3 to 6 then adopted by age 6). My sisters and I were lucky to have been able to stay together as a sibling group. It does not happen very much sadly. I have some emotional problems, yet I know that they would be so much worst if I had been taken away from them as well as my mom, neglectful as she was. We were placed in 4-5 different foster homes before the foster adoption took place. I have been told that my oldest sister was very hard to get along with; she hated it when the other "moms" would touch me or try to take care of me. She was used to playing mom and thought her job was being taken over and wouldn't have it. She was the hard child nobody wanted. They did want my other sister and I. However, thankfully our caseworker would not allow us to be separated and just kept moving us from home to home. Before they took us to the foster adopt home we got to see our mother one last time at Chucky Cheese. I remember going there and playing games and as I look at pictures I have been given I remember a little more but not much.
My adult life was going very well up until the man of my dreams whom I dated for two years broke up with me. About two months after he left me I moved up to Idaho to be with my sister-in-law and brother. I was there for a summer. I didn't really do anything while there. I learned about the credit card and a checking account but that is about it. I also fell into a very deep dark depression. I felt worthless. When I returned home it took me a few months of school and work to realize that I needed help. I seemed to be taking the breakup harder than other girls I knew. I didn't see it really but my bishop did. At that point he sent me to get help. Help I didn't think I needed. So off to therapy I went. During therapy I realized that yeah I did take his leaving me VERY hard. I found out at this time that I suffer from attachment disorder from all the foster homes I was in. He was the first person that left me after my foster care experience. I was not in good shape. I was very depressed for a long time but through much therapy I did get on with my life.
Well that happened almost 2 years ago and since then I have done much with my life (at least I think I have!). My middle sister found my birth family at what point I thought I was ready to handle this, to meet the one that traded me in for drugs. I was scared outta my mind. I didn't even remember anything about her or what she looks like, nothing! Anyway, the day came and I was ready to go...and I went with my two sisters. I was the last one to get to see her. I watched my sisters hug her and was scared to even touch her, yet I hugged. Then I cried. I was shocked. I never thought I would cry like that. She told me I had grown up to be a very pretty girl and that she missed me. A month later I was able to meet my biological father. He is very kind to me and we get along really well. My real mother and I get along fine but I guess I still think that she doesn't really care. After all, she did trade me in for what she thought was better. I don't think she really knows what to do with me. I live a different lifestyle then she does, so we don't have that much to talk about.
Right now I work almost full time as a nanny and I go to school at Weber State University. I am majoring in Social Work. I want to help kids feel safe and stay with their siblings. I want to help them dream of what I know they can become. I feel that each of us goes through what we do to learn from it. I, however, have not seen what I have learned from it. I still have problems getting attached to people. I get attached too fast, or I don't at all. Who knows what is in store for me. I date and keep dating I guess until I can find someone who can put up with me and my two families. Going through foster care was not the best thing for any child, yet as I look back on it now and have met my biological family I am soooo grateful that someone did call and get me and my sisters into a better and safer place where we could grow up and call home!
