Board Member
Melissa Rhea Cofounder, Fundraising Director, Age 34

I remember living in poverty during the week and living rich on the weekends. The weekends were my father's visitation days for my sister and me. During the week my mom worked at night as a bartender while receiving welfare checks. My father sold life insurance and made six figures. My mom never received child support and couldn't afford to take him to court to get it. She allowed the weekend visits so we could enjoy his new big homes and eating at fancy restaurants, but what she didn't know is that she was sending me to a torture chamber.

I dreaded the weekends that I knew I had to go to "Dad's". I remember always having to please him and let him touch me wherever he wanted. I remember my stepmother going to choir practice one evening and my father chasing me around the house telling me I looked just like my mother and begging me to have intercourse with him. I witnessed him raping my best friend at the age of 12. The cycle had to stop.

The next week I was questioned by a leader in my church about what had happened that night. I let the truth all out. I didn't care about what was going to happen to me. My father never threatened me not to tell.

After my father was confronted he volunteered to leave the house but my stepmother said, "No! She's leaving!" The police came to my school the next day and a wonderful lady in my church offered me a place to stay until the court date. While staying there she gave me love and compassion without asking a single question or doubting me. As I left her house and entered the foster care system she bought me a gold chain necklace for good luck. I wore it everyday and never took it off. I still have the necklace and if I ever see her again I will let her know that it worked.

At the court hearing my mom came from Oregon to take me home. During the conversation of how she felt about the events she called me a liar. My caseworker knew going home with her that day wasn't the right decision. I thank her in my prayers everyday for making that decision.

I felt abandoned by my mother, violated by my father, and to make it worse my close sister, who I knew was being abused, told the court I was a liar also. It broke my heart. I thought I could save us both.

Shortly after the first court hearing my father and stepmother moved to Oregon. I was left in Utah with no family and placed in a house of strangers one month before my 13th birthday.

I would lie on my bed and cry myself to sleep wishing my mommy loved me and would come and get me to take me home. I had no contact with my family for months. My experience in foster care I wouldn't change for the world. My foster mom, Colleen, was extremely strict but she did it with love. She taught me how to respect my surroundings. She showed me courage and how stand up for myself and be independent. I have visited her several times and thanked her for her sacrifice in raising a struggling child. She helped me to know that just because I was sexually abused as a child doesn't mean I can't achieve success.

I try and visit my mom once a year. We email each other almost everyday and are learning how to be friends, not mother and daughter. She recently disclosed that she too was sexually abused by a family member. I have only spoken to my father twice in the last 16 years. He called me on my birthday a few years ago to apologize for what he had done. I believe my sister had an influence on him making that call because he has made no other efforts to have a relationship with me or my children.

My only regret is not taking my sister with me. She has struggled for the past 16 years not having the support my foster family, caseworker, and therapist provided. After 10 years of alienation from my family she finally confessed that she too was abused. She had had enough at the age of 23. My dad was never convicted. I know I am not the judge; my lesson is to learn forgiveness and to be a support to others who feel as I once did.

I have several accomplishments to be proud of but most of all I am proud that I am a child abuse survivor, the cycle stopped here.